Original written June 28, 2002
Revised August 30, 2003, June 22, 2004 and November 9, 2010

Our devotion to the plight of the lawn gnome has not wavered. To this day, we maintain that the enslavement and entrapment of innocent lawn gnomes is a disgusting and repulsive show of hegemonic discourse (look it up, dickwipe). As a group, we strive for the complete emancipation of these poor, immobile glassine creatures, and will do anything in our power to that end. Further, we find that the creation and implementation of ridiculous and overpowered weapons of foamy destruction is necessary to our well-being and status as a benevolent, pacifist organization devoted to helping all gnomes in gneed.

This devotion to the liberation of lawn gnomes can only be matched by our involvement in the world of Nerf. Our trials and tribulations on the battlefield help prepare us for the inevitable day when our assistance will be needed to defend our country from the scourges who desecrate the peace and quiet of lawn gnomes.

Through the following five initiatives:

(1) Enjoyment of the Sport:
Let it never be said that any member of the LGLF has ever compromised another Nerfer’s good time during a war. We firmly believe that there is no point in playing if one does not enjoy the time spent in competition and with friends. Which brings us to:
(2) The Glory of Friendly and Fair Competition:
Our tempers aside, the main reason why the LGLF enjoys competing is because we enjoy the company of the people we are competing with and against. We believe that the rules are the rules for a reason, and the LGLF will never find it necessary to bend or break them. Playing fair is a crucial component of who we are, and we will never defile the glory that an honorable victory is.
(3) The Advancement of Technology:
The LGLF prides itself on being at the forefront of new and innovative Nerf technology. It may not always work, but any follower of our developments will know that we will always “push the envelope” to try to make the ideas that no one else is willing to try come to fruition. Our excellent engineering abilities and taste for the ecclectic will always provide visitors to this site with more than pictures of what we are up to. Our goal is to provide insight that will help others in their own designing and modifying attempts whenever possible.
(4) Service to the Nerf Community:
We intend to expose as many people as possible to the world of Nerf. To partake in our game requires an open mind, and there are many out there who could never appreciate what it is that we do. For those who are willing to try something new and interesting, however, the LGLF welcomes all who are able to war with us, hang out with us, and enter our ranks as a soldier of Nerf.
(5) Fulfillment of the Need to Act Like Kind of an Ass Sometimes:
Why not? We’re all out here to have fun, so we might as well just be ourselves. Everything you read on this site, and everything we talk about in person, comes straight from the gut, and we mean what we say. If you think we’re assholes, or stupid, or whatever, then that’s fine. But you can’t doubt our honesty or good intentions. It can also never be said that we take ourselves too seriously (and if you read this website and actually think everything on it is serious, then YOU take YOURSELF too seriously, buddy. Take a chill pill.)

The LGLF vows to never waver from its traditions, accomplishments, and goals for the future. Through these means, we intend to expose as many people as possible to our endeavors, maximizing their fun and chances for success on the battlefields and front yards of America.

With regards,
Langley and co
November 9th, 2010